The first few days of Lent were hard for me. I wasn’t used to the drastic change of routine, and from the get go, I was counting the days till Easter.
By day three (yes, day THREE of lent) I felt like a wreck and was questioning whether I put too much on myself for Lent.
Yet, in the same breath I was kicking myself for being so weak and pathetic after only a few days. I didn’t understand.
These sacrifices I chose were good for me. The hardship was a good thing.
Why then was I about to break down?
On day three of Lent it had been a long, busy day at work. I was tired and not in the mood to talk to any other person. I just wanted sweets, snacks, to watch TV, or do something.
But alas, I couldn’t.
Those weren’t an option.
Actually, I realized ALL of these little pleasantries I turned to for a pick-me-up or to wind down were no longer options.
I had removed them all. And now I didn’t know what to do with myself or my time or how to handle it.
As I fought with frustration and turmoil, the Holy Spirit slowing began to reveal to me that this situation was actually an answer to my prayers. It was a chance to work towards my Lenten goal.
For Lent I wanted to remove many worldly things, so to discipline myself and grow closer to God by depending on him instead.
And here I was on a Friday night with that very opportunity at my doorstep.
I am right where I wanted to reach.
In my post about fasting at the beginning of Lent, I discussed the importance of being intentional with what I replace the extra time from my sacrifice.
I discovered that I had taken all of my time-killing, mind-numbing, mood-lifting options out and now I didn’t have anything left to make me feel better after work.
All I had was God.
Of course the last thing I felt like doing was praying. But isn’t this what I wanted? To grow closer to Him?
And here I am with my only option for finding my energy and joy is in Christ.
Worldly pleasantries are nice, and God gives them to us for our enjoyment, but it is in him that we will find the deep and lasting joy.
It has not easy, I’ll admit, to try to pray for comfort when all I want is a piece of chocolate, but I know there is something very good in waiting as it builds patience and trust.
And over the past few weeks I have begun to desire worldly treats less and God oh so much more!
A piece of chocolate doesn’t give me the satisfaction it did before. Instead I long for the Eucharist and when I’m feeling down I just want to go sit at the foot of the tabernacle and pour out my heart to Jesus.
As we approach Holy Week, what is holding you back from turning to Christ for strength and comfort?
Is there anything we are depending on too much right now for happiness that it is taking us away from time spent in prayer?
Because of this whole quarantine thing, it feels like a lot of things have been taken from us…. It may be hard to find to find the happiness we used to have every day.
What if this is a chance to grow closer to Christ more than we ever dreamed this Lent?
I’m not saying God made this happen, but even God can make good things come out of horrible circumstances. He could be using this time to draw you closer to Him.
I mean we have so much free time so why not. 😉